I grew up in the church my whole life as a PK if I haven’t said this 46,000 times on my posts already. And there’s a reason PKs are either viewed as super sheltered or Katy Perry (who I happen to think is kind of awesome, but you get my point). There’s not too many that fall “in between” because, quite frankly, it’s super hard to be forced into a religion without any explanation about why you believe what you believe. You have all of these questions in your head, but you’re too embarrassed to ask them and are probably getting yelled at for being late for Sunday school instead. You either follow it blindly, secretly have doubts and don’t tell anyone because your dad is practically Moses, or one day wake up and go “why the hell am I following this guy anyway?” I was the latter. Over time, I developed a sense of identity. I was a Christian, but I also knew why. I would definitely always say that having your faith tested is one of the most important things a Christian can ever go through. Over time, however, I’ve also picked up on ridiculous Christian cliches. I mean, I lived in the church. Most of them are pretty much parents trying to get their kids to stop doing “bad things” by giving some random Bible explanation that doesn’t actually exist. And da da da (cue awesome music)… this is exactly why some people are leaving the church. Because this crap keeps getting passed down from generation to generation, and no one is stepping back and saying “where did you even get that idea?” I remember this lady ragging on some guy’s smoking habit and how sinful it was. Smoking cigarettes is one of those habits that has been randomly accepted as a sin that was accepted as a social expectation just fifty years ago. All of a sudden, it’s evil and a sign of rebellion, and none of us know why. One time in particular, my dad went to the mall and saw a member of the church he recognized, and the guy spent the whole time hiding a cigarette behind his back with the smoke bellowing out of his head like some angry cartoon character. He looked simply ridiculous, came across as having the intelligence level of an amoeba, and had no reason to hide. So what if your pastor sees you smoke? If you just told your doctor that you stopped smoking, and he saw you, that would be a different story.
"But, your body is a temple" the lady said while chewing on her Big Mac. “I mean, I know he has a severe anxiety disorder, but smoking marijuana is a sin, everyone knows that” She continued while downing two lab-created pain medications with possible spontaneous combustion and peeing fire as side effects.
It seems like people are absolutely convinced my generation is super evil because we’re finally asking the question “why?” Or we’re wicked for standing up for equality and the financially disadvantaged, and so many church members can’t seem to read past Leviticus to get to root of Jesus’ nature. These same people will then judge individuals for leaving the church after they couldn’t provide any answers without wimpy “Christian-accepted” responses.
"My mom died, I was so close to her. Why would God would let this happen?"
"Well, He has His reasons. It was in His plan. I’ll pray for you to be happy!"
Well, no wonder someone would leave the church after hearing that. You just indirectly agreed with this person that God was the reason her mother died, and somehow she's not being a good Christian because she's not smiling. Honey, be HAPPY God killed your mother, she's having so much more fun than you right now mourning and stuff. That's pretty much what you're saying. In reality, you don’t feel like taking the time to sit down to actually talk about it, refer her to someone that can, or just shut up and give her a damn hug already. Let me say this: Bad things happen to Christians too. I get that Paul talks about considering it joy when we face trials, but having a close family member or having your innocent four-year-old child die is not a "trial." A trial is getting a pay cut or having your best friend you worked next to for ten years quit. Losing a child is hell. It was hard enough just watching my grandparents go through that, I couldn't possibly imagine what that personally feels like. Yes, I believe that God is wonderful and can bring life or something good out of a terrible situation. Maybe someone will come to Christ through it. But he didn't kill a child to cause someone to accept Christ. Death is something really super crappy we face as mortal humans that you don't just "get over" one day. Stop saying other cliches like "oh he just wanted to take his child home." No, God didn't kill your four-year-old to "take her home" for kicks and giggles. That wasn't God. Jesus himself cried after his friend died, shouldn't that mean something? We can't go around saying Christian cliches to make people stop crying because it's making us uncomfortable. Mourning is a natural part of life, and we shouldn't try to stop the mourning process. Encouragement and having a shoulder to lean on as a friend? Yes. Crying with them? Yes. Stopping the mourning process because all Christians should slap a fake smile on their face when they're going through a difficult time? No.
I really hate the fact that so many people are actually looked down upon for researching and asking questions. If they leave the faith, it’s totally their Christian-hating professor’s fault or their evil ways of partying, and has nothing to do with the fact that you told them to blindly follow the Bible their entire lives without offering explanations. Real explanations, not “Mom, how come this seems like a total contradiction in the Bible?” and you reply with, “God just has his reasons, now eat your spinach.” I get that not everything in Christianity can be figured out in an algorithm. Having some open cool mysteries of life like “when does life begin?” are things that will simply never be answered, neither by science nor religion. There is no “soul entering” enzyme I learned about in embryology. I also believe in reading the Bible and God speaking through His Word, don’t think I’m discrediting the Bible at all. But I really believe one of the reasons colleges are mentioning an increase in theology degrees is because many want their questions answered. That’s a good thing. I know many people that would last about five minutes in an intelligent theological discussion with an atheist because they really don’t have a clue about what they believe or even what half of the Bible says. I’m sure any atheist reading this will laugh in agreement. I know very few atheist friends of mine that don’t know more about the Bible than the average Christian, because they researched how to argue with one. That’s not okay of us. Also, as someone who graduated with a science degree, I really believe that the reason so many kids start learning science and shying away from God is because you forgot to mention that science is not actually the opposite of Christianity. God created science. But science (which you taught them is “wrong”) seems to be answering their questions a lot more than empty legalism.
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